That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
