i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
