i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
