I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
