Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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