Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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