so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
