Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
