Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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