Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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