guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
