There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
