Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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