even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
