No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
