You just made me feel so damn special
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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