pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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