Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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