Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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