He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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