I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
cat food counts as protein by the way
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
