38 yer olds are good kisserssss
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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