You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
