you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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