I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
