he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
