Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
