I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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