didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
she peed on how many people?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
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