I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
