smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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