So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
