a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
