I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
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