if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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