thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
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