I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
