Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
We had to coat check the pizza.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
