she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
