I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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