hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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