What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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