Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
