hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
