She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
im having a threesome with these popsicles
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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