how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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