I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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