your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
