Are we in a gay sports bar?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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