My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
